On our premier, very first, episode: BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) transmits from the multiverse: ‘Douche Colossus’, known as the most self-centred ‘me-verse’ of the multiverse.
If you’re listening from Douche Colossus, please reframe from writing love poems to yourself for a moment and listen to the first sketch which asks the critical existential question, “Are you a douche?” And, if you are, do you know which part of the body you should be cleaning?
Strap yourself in for another thrilling adventure of ‘Frank Schwab: School detective’. This week feckless Frank solves the stench infested mystery of the heinous, overpowering, pants pooper.
And, if you think the humour can’t get any lower, next is everyone’s favourite sexual do-it-yourself programme: Practical Sexuality, where you will learn what you can and cannot fit inside you and where in your body you should never stick it.
Humble yourself to the film bio of the most amazing, important, human on the face of the Earth, the man Jesus, God, and all 33 million deities of Hinduism aspire to be like: The Leonard Q. Banglebaum Jr Story.
We conclude our journey to this multiverse with the most pressing issue that threatens extension of our species: the natural gas that the human-ish body expels every moment, is killing our planet, and making a journeys in a sealed elevator unbreathable. We follow the heroic anti-flatulence fascist ‘Just Stop Gas’ complainers/campaigners as they demonstrate why you shouldn’t glue your penis to priceless paintings in protest and how to clench, hold in your natural body gas, and save the planet.
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Episode 2 has BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) transmitting from a timeline which contradicts Winston Churchill’s assertion that “History is written by the victors”. In this timeline, history (and everything else) is written by losers. To be more precise: complete fucking losers.
We begin this week’s excursion with advice for those suffering from a ‘Homosexual Oedipus Complex’ and the best ways to kill mom and ‘do it’ with dad.
BOMT visits the bistro where fine dining is accompanied by an orgasm and where, instead of pairing wine with food, the food is paired with sex. If you ever desired a bratwurst up your arse paired with Schnitzel or having kippered herring stuffed in a rusted trombone – this is the bistro for you.
Experience first class treatment at American Tourmaster Hotels, where tipping isn’t expected and arse play is optional.
Hollywood legend Sam Fluggelman shares exclusive, never before seen, footage from his original cut of “Gone With The Wind” and the infamous Clark Gabel emergency trouser change incident.
Sammy The Toothpick is back… back? You never knew he left! Witness some assholes waiting around as Sammy hits us with another condensed classic: “Waiting For Godot” to 20 seconds.
For those fucking history snobs out there BOMT is giving a history lesson with the latest ‘Hitler Unknown’, this week’s episode: ‘That Fucking Moustache’. We reveal the truth about Hitler’s insistence that he didn’t want to be confused with the little tramp because of his moustache and that he was referring to Marline Dietrich and not Charlie Chaplin.
Everyone’s/ no-one’s favourite Tiktok star, The Prat Prankster, pulls an hysterical pole wacker of prank, scares the crap out of two lovers, and gives a mortician a heart attack after being accidentally autopsied. Definitive proof that being a colossal obnoxious asshole isn’t required to be a social media influencer, but… actually being a colossal obnoxious asshole is required.
BOMT ends our journey with the woke film event of the year: “ I am Not Henry, I Am Daisy Bell”. If if you don’t agree that this is the most important movie in film history then fuck you, you are an artistic racist and shall be cancelled!
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