Welcome back to another dangerously unfiltered transmission from the interdimensional broadcast chamber of The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee (BOMT) Podcast.
During what was supposed to be a routine journey through the Multiverse of Mediocre Mustaches, our toupee-fueled craft took a hard left at Common Sense and crash-landed on the one timeline that all other timelines swiped left on:
Earth-88Hitlrz: The Universe That Thought Hitler Was a Fashion Icon
The Planet Where Dictators Had Etsy Shops
We landed smack in the middle of a dictator-themed art fair. Hitler, sporting a bedazzled swastika fanny pack and Crocs with tiny goose-stepping figurines, was selling motivational tapes titled:
“Manifesting with Mein Kampf: A Vision Board Guide to Total Domination.”
He hosted daily TikTok Lives from his Bavarian bunker, where he did makeup tutorials while screaming about the Treaty of Versailles. Picture Jeffree Star meets your least favorite history teacher.
The worst part? He had merch. And yes, we bought the ironic tote bag.
We Interviewed Him (Mistake #1)
The BOMT crew, led by the ever-confused Stan and fart-savant Professor Obean, decided to interview Earth-88Hitlrz Hitler. Here are some highlights:
Stan: “So what inspired the mustache?”
Hitler: “I was eating strudel and sneezed. The syrup hardened. History was made.”
Professor Obean: “Have you ever tried yoga to help with your world domination obsession?”
Hitler: “Yoga? I’m more into interpretive goose-stepping.”
We ended the interview early when he tried to sell us NFTs of his failed art school projects. (Spoiler: Even in this timeline, he still couldn’t draw hands.)
hitler history
The Musical: “Springtime for Me”
Things escalated when the planet invited us to the premiere of a musical titled:
“Springtime for Me: A Self-Love Journey Through Tyranny.”
Imagine Broadway meets a fever dream starring:
A tap-dancing Mussolini
A Stalin-inspired jazz solo
And Hitler performing a heartfelt ballad to his mirror: “I’m Gassing Up Myself (But Not Literally This Time)”
The BOMT crew had to be wheeled out due to laughter-induced seizures
Regret, Gas, and Multiverse Apologies
Upon reflection (and two emergency doses of sarcasm-reversal serum), the BOMT team acknowledged:
This was a mistake
Some jokes write themselves
And yes, dictator timelines should not be tourist attractions
But we learned a few valuable lessons:
Never trust a planet named “Meinfluence.”
Satire is the only safe way to approach history’s darkest detours.
Battery-powered toupees should not handle navigation.
Listen to the Chaos – New BOMT Episode Out Now!
This interdimensional disaster is fully documented in our latest episode of the BOMT Podcast, titled:
“Bagwan McGintee’s Multidimensional Bowel Movement Technique”
It includes:
Stan hallucinating a fascist-themed IKEA
A musical fart-based timeline reboot
The BOMT crew singing a lullaby to end totalitarianism
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